- Discuss the intimacies they entrust with others
Each person who reveals their intimacies by receiving advice must be sure that a counselor is a discreet person. When the counselor breaks the secret, he violates the counselee’s right to confidentiality. Therefore, you should not discuss any details with other advisors or leaders or with your spouse.
- Advising without first having learned to manage or without having resolved their own conflicts:
When the counselor does not resolve those conflictive areas for him, he is no longer objective and, many times, his reaction to the counselee may not be formative but rather harmful.
- Give your opinion or guide on issues that you do not know about or do not have adequate mastery:
The counselor must have sufficient maturity and honesty to recognize that they do not master the subject on which advice is requested. In these cases, it is better to refer the counselee to the relevant persons or entities; For example, if you are asked about very specific medical or legal issues, you should refer to the appropriate professional or seek advice on this. Do not comment on any unknown topic as it can do a lot of damage.
- Forgetting the socio-academic level of the counselee:
To avoid blockages in communication, the counselor must know the social and academic level of the counselee to use the appropriate language with the person and help him in the best way.
- Let the counselee direct the interview:
The counselor should always keep track of the interview. If you don’t, you will lose yourself in it and will not offer the proper guidance.
- Do not limit the time of the interview: Some Advice from Dr. Garcia at Tampa Counseling and Wellness
The counselor must inform the counselee of the time available for the interview and be consistent with it. One of the benefits of time limits is that it will help you stay focused on the problem you need to solve.
- Impose your personal ideas on the counselee:
The only person who has the right and responsibility to make a decision is the counselee. The task of the pastor or counselor is for guidance only. The counselor helps to visualize the situation from the correct angle, to examine the possible consequences, to analyze and show applications of the Scriptures on the problem, and provides the essential elements of judgment so that the counselee can make a decision.
- Rejecting the counselee because of their nationality, race, creed, or lifestyle:
At any time, someone outside our faith, customs, lifestyle, and ethics may seek advice or help, and the counselor should not reject it. This is an excellent opportunity to demonstrate God’s grace and mercy.
- Continue with the interview, even when identifying a great feeling of attraction or rejection by the counselee:
In the dynamics of interaction between counselee and counselor, whether they are men or women, strong feelings called transference are generated, which determine the quality of counseling. These feelings can lead to problematic situations, so the counselor must be ready to perceive them. Every counselor is responsible for evaluating his feelings toward the counselee, and if he discovers unapproved feelings, it is time to stop the sessions and refer the case to another counselor.
- Relying Only on Your Knowledge or Skills
The success of counseling lies in guiding the counselee to know God and placing their trust in Him. Any necessary changes come through the power and action of the Holy Spirit in the counselee’s life. Therefore all teaching, conviction of sin, or instruction in counseling must be subject to the Word of God.
Effective counseling, therefore, requires the use of specific techniques and methods that every counselor must know and be guided by, without ever forgetting their dependence on God throughout the counseling process.